What to do when You Think You are Not Good Enough
Do you think you need another person to tell you that you’re worth it?
St. Valentine's Day always comes with heaps of cards and treats and cut flowers that don't last more than a few days. What good is it doing for you? What real good does it do? Does anyone feel more loved just because a partner bought the obligatory box of chocolates? I seriously doubt it.
What is it you really need or want to feel appreciated and valued? Do you think you need another person to tell you that you’re worth it? Do you think you need approval from someone else to feel loved, valued, or special?
If this is how you feel,
you’re not alone.
Sometimes we find ourselves in relationships that really aren’t giving us what we really need. One of the most common reasons we find ourselves in situations like this is because we think we’re not enough on our own. But, guess what? YOU ARE ALREADY ENOUGH. And I’m going to explain Why.
It seems to acknowledge our own self worth is somehow one of the most difficult challenges we face. And yet, we still need to feel appreciated, cared for, and loved. But we cannot be open to love if we have none for ourselves. We cannot help others if we do not first help ourselves.
But we cannot give love if we do not first love ourselves. We cannot show compassion if we have none for the face in the mirror. We cannot expect to be loved for our true selves if we do not embrace who we are as individuals first.
So often, we feel guilty for taking time for ourselves. Why?
If you use your phone all day and never charge the battery it dies, it has nothing left to offer, energy stores are depleted and empty. So, naturally, you plug it in, you let it charge, and you leave it there until it is restored.
The same applies to how we take care of ourselves. We need to nurture ourselves. We need to recharge, we need to restore our own stores of physical, mental, and emotional energy. Otherwise, we have nothing left to give to the ones closest to us.
And there is an element of selfishness we all need from time to time if we are to continue to both give and receive love, compassion, and understanding.
Know when to give, but know when you've given enough. Be free with your kindness, but keep some for yourself. Show your compassion with unashamed grace, but reserve some for your own suffering too.
And we can feel loved in more ways than one. Do something selfish for a day, who cares if it's Valentine's Day? You are not obliged to bow to marketing-made holidays simply because it's what everyone else is doing.
Ask yourself what you need for you to feel good, to feel recharged, to feel worth it. It doesn't matter if you are in a committed relationship or not. You still need to take care of yourself first.
Be proud of who you are. Embrace what you are worth. Self-love is necessary if you want to be loved in return.
Nurture yourself with moments of rest, a day of quiet repose- or dance and jump around like a maniac if it makes you feel good! You are already enough. You are already worthy. It's time to tell yourself that too.
This Valentine's Day, I urge you to make time for yourself. To give yourself the nurturing and the love that you deserve. No one can give and never receive. It is not a sustainable way of life.
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Love,
Alessia
Of course I’m here for you, so if you have any question or want to start a conversation, feel free to leave a message below or send me an email to hello@lazydancertips.com :)
Love
Alessia